Take a break
by obsessionpersonified
Summary: While writing my other story it got depressingly anghsty, which I usually dont write. So here are a few things like outtakes and such to cheer people up!
1. Default Chapter

PHANTOM OF THE OPERA OUTTAKES

Scene; Ballroom scene; Masqarade

Take ONE

(Enter Phantom. Music slows.)

"Why so silent, Good Monsuiers? Did you think I had left you for good? Have you missed me-Agh!"

Phantom slips on the silky red cape and tumbles down the stairs, landing right on his ass, right in front of Christine.

"Oh my." Christine starts giggling. Erik thrums his fingers on the marble.

"Hardly the entrance I was hoping for, Hollilia." He states wryly, a couple camramen helping him up.

"Sorry, Can we shorten the cape please?" Hollilia asks, coming out with a 'I'm the director now' shirt on.

"Right away miss!"

Scene;Ballroom; Masque.

Take TWO.

(PHANTOM APPEARS. MUSIC SLOWS.)

"Why so silent good Monsueirs? Did you think that I had left you for good? Have you missed me, good monsueirs? I have written you an Opera! Here I bring the finished score...DON JUAN TRIUMPHANT! A few instructions, just before rehersal starts. Carlotta must be taught to act, not her normal 'trick' of struting around the stage. Our Don Juan must loose some weight, its not healthy in a man of Piangi's age." The Phantom turns around and the rapier accidently cuts a piece of Meg's costume. The entire outfits falls off, revealing naughty black corset and 'I LOVE THE PHANTOM' sewn into the front.

All is silent.

AHEM Meg calmly picks up her outfit, holds it acrossed her chest, turns... before running away as fast as possible.

"COSTUME EMERGENCY!" Hollilia calls after her, several seamstresses hustling to keep up. Christine's mouth is still open wide, Raoul watching appreciativly, and the Phantom with his eyebrow raised.

"Lets try this again shall we?" Hollilia asks, giving a forced smile.

Scene; Ballroom; Masque

Take THREE

"-in a man of Piangi's age." Phanton turns, pulling the rapier along with him and cutting off Piangi's trousers, which fall.

Revealing 'I LOVE THE PHANTOM' Sewn acrossed his boxers. He waggles his eyebrows at Erik.

"Oh good god!" Erik turns away as everyone stifles giggles and gags of disgust. Christine's mouth drops, Raoul gags, and Erik turns to Hollilia.

"Its not my fault. Piangi! Get to costumes!" Hollilia rubs her temples.She grabs him before he can leave completly and off to the side-"Where do you get those?"

"Homade...wanna pair?"

"Love some...could you also make a couple thongs?" Hollia asked. Piangi nodded happily. Hollilia turns back to her cast, some of which who are rather green.

"Lets try another scene, shall we?"

Scene;Top of the roof; Declaring Love scene.

Take ONE;

"Christine...Christine..." Raoul says softly. Christine waits for the Phantom's voice. Her que is when he whispers her name...

...but nothing happens. Raouls frowns, but tries again.

"Christine...Christine..."

"OH! Erik!"

"Meg!" Christine looks around a horse statue to see Meg pressed against the stone, the Phantom of the Opera kissing, caressing, and fondling any piece of flesh closest to him. Meg thrashes beneath him... until she notices thier audience. The entire cast and crew watch avidly, Hollilia popping pieces of popcorn in her mouth occasionally.

"This isn't in the script!" Christine says wildly, turning an interesting shade of green.

"It could be..." Hollilia offered.

"I'll be in my trailer!" Christin shrills, marching off. Meg pushes her avid lover off.

"That means we'll be on break until you can convince her to come out?" Erik asks idly, sliding a hand up Megs arm. Hollilia nods sadly. "Good."

The two dissappear down the secret passage, Meg giggling all the way.

"CUT!"

Scene; Graveyard; Erik and Raoul fighting.

Take ONE;

The swords clash, cape flies, as the two lean handsome men twirl around each other, fighting for the love of their life. At one particular moment, when both are close, the swords crossed, Raoul leans closer. Erik's lip curls up, waiting for the verbal sparring match. Hollilia said they could insult one another if they needed too.

"You make me so hot!" Raoul gasps before launching himself ontop of the Phantom. Erik finds himself lip-locked with his enemy, said enemy's hands roaming where they most definatly shouldn't.

Hollilia, Meg and Christine watching with open mouths, Piangi taping it. Erik wildly tries to get away from his armorous suitor, but that only inspires Raoul to greater hieghts of passion, rubbing himself all over the Phantom. Erik finally rips himself free, stands, gasping, and stalks toward Hollilia (Closest Female)

"Excuse me." He says, his voice husky. Then he grabs the director, dips her, and melds his mouth with hers. Hollilia responds, of course, by wrapping her arms around his neck. Erik slids his hands down to her hips, pulling her flush against him. He then pulls away, slicks back his hair and straightens his clothes.

"Wha-wha-wh-" Hollilia stutters, her breath taken away.

"Nasty taste in my mouth. Yours is much sweeter." Erik gives her a slow once over, then walks away, calling behind him- "Call me when we're ready."

Hollilia fans herself with her hand, Meg swallows, and Christine turns an unflattering shade of green. Raoul is still on the ground gasping.

"Piangi, I want a copy of that." Hollilia says to the man.

"Me too." Meg gasps, smoothing her flushed cheeks.

"Me three." Raoul pants, watching the handsome man enter his coach.

SECRET CAMRA!

"Past the point of no return...la da da da da! Either way you choose...LA da da da!" Erik sings from inside the shower. Hollilia and Meg sneak up, each holding a portable video camra. Hollilia sets hers right on the table, hidin under a towel, still able to see and sneaks into the closet, Meg quickly following.

"What the-" A hand clamps over her mouth. Piangi and Raoul are also staking out to see a piece of perfection. Hollilia is pushed up against Raoul, whose hands find thier way to her hips to keep them all steady and silent. Erik climbs out of the shower, every inch an Adonis, from his dark hair (Wow, he ever wears the Mask while showering) to his chiseled chest, to his tapered hips, to his-

WOW!

"OW!" Hollilia screeches, and slaps Raoul. His hands had pinched her butt! Erik stalks over and opens the door, all four of them tumbling out onto him. Hollilia ends up wedged beneath Raoul, Meg ontop of them weighting Raoul uncomfortably onto Hollilia. Piangi, to his delight, landed on the Erik.

"Can't a man take a BLOODY SHOWER!"

"Hi." Raoul said softly, inches from Hollilia's face.

"Hi." She answers back, for the first time noticing how adorable Raoul really is.

"Oh no you don't!" Erik lifts Raoul up and off Hollilia, waggin a finger at him. "Not until I get a piece!"

"Your cheating on Christine!" Raoul gasps.

"Oh yea, like your a paragan of virtue Leech-Lips." Meg scoffs, standing

"I had Christine. Too clingy. I had Meg. And several stage hands. Hell, I had YOU! The directors simply the next one in line." Erik reasoned.

"Can't fault his reasoning." Hollilia said happily.

"Okay, CUT!" Raoul shouts. Hollilia frowns.

"Hey thats my line!"

REASONING FOR THIS: Feeling a little wacky, and whenever I see PotO I always see little outtakes. In this its like I'm the Director and all the cast are really the charectors, just lining up to show the world their story. This isn't supposed to be serious, possibly some Phantom action in a next chapter it I continue it. I mean come on, who doesn't wanna see Bad boy on Good boy action!


	2. Things Erik is not allowed to do any lon...

Things the Phantom is no longer allowed to do

A/N I decided not to do any more outtakes. reason? I can't think of any more funny ones. In anycase, this was inspired by a Things Harry Potter is no longer allowed to do, by a brilliant author whose name escapes me... i'll remember sometime. In any case. Here it is

1) Must not pour extra red wax onto the Manager's head. either of them.

2) Must not sneak into Christine's dressing room.

3) Must not sneak into the Ballet rats dressing room.

4) Must not demand monthly virgin sacrafice to fee your 'monsterous sexual appetite'.

5) Must not seduce young woman into your lair through song.

6) Must not seduce young women into your lair through interpretive dance.

7) Must not seduce young women into your lair thorugh sincronized swimming.

8) Must refrain from giggling madly when Piangi reveals less-than-spectacular... parts.

9) Must not send miscalanious props on Carlotta's head to shut her up.

10) Must no send miscelanious props on MY head to stop me from writing bad things about you Jackass

11) Must no steal Meg's red 'Satans's whore' Dress to crash a Masque and claim unfaithful supranos.

12) Must no ever. EVER write dirty fanfiction about tying Raoul to your bed with Gummy worms and leave it on MY bed ever AGAIN!

13)Must not take over innocent fanfiction writers and turn them into obsessive compulsive twitching writhing masses dependent on your every whim, hypnotized to do everything you say when you sing, then browbeat them to write more, faster, better and nakeder Erik fictions where you 'Get some'.

14)Must not slip into innocent Cough cough authors deams and seduce and/or sexually excite them with deep, mezmerizing voice, then wake them before they can have an orgasm.

15) Must never, EVER EVER mention again about tattooing 'Whose your daddy' on your ass even if Christine thinks its a good idea

16) Never do anything Christine thinks is a good idea.

17) Must never sing 'Music of the night' in Hollilia's head during school and/or sleeping hours again. Its very distracting and arousing.

18) Must never pinch Madam Giry's ass, even if her 'dimpled little tush was begging for it'.

19) Not even if she asks.

20) Especially if she asks.

21) Must try to refrain from forcing Naive girls Cough CHRISTINE cough from singing suggestive innuendos they dont understand, on stage with their fiance in the audience.

22) Must never , ever, ever use the words 'Madam Giry' 'Transsexual' 'intercourse' and 'Oranges' in the same sentence again. EVER!


	3. Chapter 3

Outtakes, version 2.0

Scene; Music of the Night

Take One

The Phantom leaps with unearthly grace onto the shore, unclasps his cloak, and swings it off. A loud rip is heard.

The phantom, backside safely away from the cameras looks at his cloak. Several saftey pins hold valiantly onto the shreds of his pants.

"Oh my" Christine cries out softly. Hollilia giggles.

"I do believe, my dear Hollilia, that i HATE YOU!" He shouts, tossing the cloak down and stalking out.

Revealing a marvolous peach of a butt.

"Commando." Meg grins. Piangi frowns.

"Though you'd be happy." CHristine replies to the look.

"I owe Hollilia a hundred now. Damn that sexy bastard."

Scene; Music of the night

Take Two

Phantom stalks behind a bunch of candlebras, adding dramatic flare.

"Lets your soul take you where you long, to Be!" He sings, shocking all into silence.

At which point, the form fitting suit that he looks so good in, catches on fire.

"AHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!" Erik screams, running about, consiquently lighting the whole set on fire. Christine, glorious curls nothing but a halo of flames runs about, screaming like a banshie, hitting a high C and shattering every piece of glass in the room. Finally both flaming actors toss themselves into the lake, rising up blackened. Erik, to everyone's joy, naked as a jay bird.

A light applause begins, then grows as the flames onset die. Finally, with everyone loudly aplauding, Erik sinks slowly down, up to his neck, an adorable blush on his cheeks.

"New scene." He says a little defeatedly.

"Gladly. Someone toss him a cloak " Hollilia grins. Meg turns to her.

"How in the hell does he keep that stupid mask on?"

"Havn't the foggiest." Hollilia shrugs non-commitally, frowning at her shattered glasses

Scene Think of Me

Take One

"But no! Because I 'ave not my costume for Act Three because, SOMEBODY not finsh it." Carlotta screams, the points to the rediculus confection on her head "And I 'ate my 'at."

"I wonder, as a personal favor..." Mr Firmin says. Carlotta bursts out crying then smiles.

"If my managers command." She says. "Monsiur Reyer?"

"If my Diva commands." He sighs.

"Yes, I do." She states, then begins to walk foreward, before tripping and falling with a splat. There is silence.

"See, I didn't even have to do anything!" The Phantom says cheerily from the rafters. Everyone begins laughing, Carlotta the loudest.

"Cut!" Hollilia shouts, betwixt giggles.

Scene, Prima Donna

Take One

Firmin and Andres carry Carlotta in the wheelbarrel, carlotta waving gracfully

Without warning, the wheels fal off and Carlotta goes down, and like dominoes, her onterage follows.

"Um...clean up in Ailes One!" Meg shouts and everyone begins laughing.

Scene Prima Donna

Take two

the wig is placed on Carlottas head as she smiles. The smile dissappears and she begins to tilt, the slowly to everyone's shock, fall to the floor.

"Timber!" Hollilia says softly as the diva tilts over. The crew giggles. "Cut!"

Scene Don Juan

Take one

"Poor young maiden, for the thrill on your tongue of stolen sweets. You will have to pay the bill, tangled in the winding-" A large stage light falls onto Carlottas head, smashing her into the ground.

"Erik!" Hollilia gasps, he appears, from behind the curtain.

"I didn't do it!" He says, aghast. Meg, unnoticed, appears and tossed a large pair of sissors away.

"Not me." She sing-songs.

Scene Think of Me

Take Two

"Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade, they have their seasons so do we, but please promise me that sometime you will think... Ah aha aha aha aha...Ahaharihahahaaaaaaaa. Aaaahhh ha ha hahahahaaaa-of... M-" Christine pauses on the last line, her face in its usualy expression...slack, when she tiwtches. A mechanical grinding is heard and she twiches several more times, the voice fading softly and vacant eyes dropping as the fron half of her body droops. She hangs there, limbly for a few moment, before static is heard and electrical sparks fly from her.

"She's a robot?" Meg asked. Hollilia lets out a loud triumphant sound.

"I KNEW IT! no one can have uch a gorgeous voice and body and face and temperment and all the goddamned HAIR and still be human ! WHoohooo! I KNEW IT" She does a happy dance. then calms. "MEg, send it to the shop, we'll move on. Music of the Night set fixed yet?"

"Still burned." a crewman shouted back.

"Carlotta?"

"Still dead to the world." another one yelled

"What about Raoul?" Hollilia frowns.

"Doing his hair. He's gonna be a while"

"Well, fuck." Hollilia thinks a minute. "We got Erik?"

"Here!" the Phantom appears beside Meg. Hollilia shrugs.

"Nothing for it then. How about we act out a scene from Tears of Joy? Preferably the sex one?" She asks.

"Sure."

"KEWL!"


End file.
